Even when you're deeply in love with someone, certain life events can force you to put a romance on hold. While in many cases the break is permanent, sometimes a breakup is just a temporary measure necessary to open up new perspectives.
Many people certainly think that there's no worse idea than trying to rewrite a story that ended in pain and failure. But just because things didn't work out the first time between two people doesn't mean they aren't meant to be together.
So, "Yes," getting back together with your ex can be a good idea for some. But be careful! Here are the points you absolutely must consider and clarify before getting back together with your ex.
What are everyone's intentions?
This question must have a clear and precise answer from both sides. What are each person's goals and expectations? Nostalgia can indeed push a person to desire their ex. Memories of particularly pleasant moments spent together, among others. There is indeed nothing wrong with going back under the covers with an ex on occasion (when you are single, of course). But considering a new romantic relationship based on this argument alone is a very bad idea. And in most cases, nostalgia is a bad advisor.
So your feelings must be real, and those of your ex, too. If the mutual feelings that once united you are still intact, then it is time to react quickly. With this in mind, the ExpertEx site will be useful to you. Marc Blanc provides 10 tips for winning back your ex quickly.
Why did we break up?
You probably have your ideas about the reasons for the breakup. But before even considering a new serious relationship with an ex, it's important to hear their story again. With time passing and water flowing under the bridge, chances are everyone's perspectives on what happened have changed. Talking it over again will allow you to agree on the causes of your previous failures so you don't repeat the same mistakes.
Did I have enough time and space after the breakup?
Not taking enough distance after a breakup can make it hard to think clearly. If you see each other all the time in class, or if you share the same social circle, don't be surprised by your inability to get over them. Continuing to live with your ex is not the best way to think clearly after a breakup. You should always take the time to wrap up one relationship before starting another, even if it's with your ex. For example, try spending time with friends you have in common individually while you sort out your thoughts.
How much have we changed?
What efforts have each of you made to improve the problematic aspects of your personality? The same causes reproduce the same effects. The time you spent apart will have been for nothing if no one has changed. It's all too easy to want a partner who accepts us and tolerates all our flaws. No one is required to achieve the impossible. But if each of you could work on being the best partner possible, everyone would be better off. If the relationship has been unhealthy or disastrous in the past, it will likely be in the future without significant efforts to change.
What reaction do you expect from your loved ones?
Just because you're excited about dating an ex again doesn't mean your family or close friends will be equally enthusiastic. The memory of your ex's bad behavior may still be fresh in their minds, so chances are they'll try to talk you out of it.
It's important to remember that they have your best interests at heart. But the discussion around the topic may not be pleasant. So, you need to have a clear idea of how you'll handle a potential crisis. Tactfully try to explain to your family the arguments that work in your ex's favor. For example, take stock of what's changed and the discussions you've had with your ex.
Are you down-to-earth?
Of course, everyone can change. But most of the time, people are much more inclined to stay true to themselves. It's very common to see couples fall back into the same problems that gradually undermined the previous relationship. It will therefore be everyone's responsibility to ensure that bad habits don't resurface.
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